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aku bahagia

aku sedih

aku patah

aku utuh

aku merah

aku putih

aku hidup

do i ever cross your mind?

so beautiful is the full moon

its beauty takes me to that afternoon

when the big brothers knocked on the door

bringing with them furor and horror.

darling, do i ever cross your mind?

so beautiful is the full moon

its beauty takes me to that afternoon

when you held my hand for the last time

while the big brothers took their time

to rip me off from my prime.

darling, do I ever cross your mind?

so beautiful is the full moon

its beauty takes me to that afternoon

but the big brothers’ palace offers no beauty

its only grace is cruelty.

darling, do i ever cross your mind?

this concrete floor feels so cold

even the full moon can’t warm me

this fragile frame has grown old

i need you here to hold me.

darling, do i ever cross your mind?

i’ve been jailed here for eternity

i am here for asking for liberty

they say the biggest brother’s retired to divinity

will the next biggest brother remember my calamity

provided I help him to reach his destiny.

darling, do i ever cross you mind?

i ask because i feel forgotten.

October 3, 2008

Tonight is so cold

tonight is so cold

there’s no one to hold

nothing told

he’s not here to scold.

he’s been hauled

to the gaol

by the law so old

for too bold

telling something not to be told.

tonight is so cold.

September 19, 2008

aku yang telanjang tapi tidak berdosa

bagiku ketelanjangan adalah hal biasa

Bagi engkau yang tidak biasa

aku hargai karna kita beda.

kau lihatlah aku tak malu sama sekali

meski yang kututupi hanya batang zakarku saja

tak ada beban, tiada dosa.

bagi perempuanku ketelanjangan adalah juga biasa.

kau lihatlah dia tidak malu sama sekali

mesti susunya terburai sempurna

tak ada beban, tiada dosa.

tapi akhir-akhir ini aku heran.

teramat heran.

kenapa kau yang malu dan berdosa

dengan ketelanjangan kami?

tuhanku berkata aku tetap masuk surga

biar aku selalu telanjang di bumi.

entahlah dengan tuhanmu.

tuhanku berkata perempuanku ada tempat di nirwana

mesti susunya terburai sempurna di bumi.

entahlah dengan tuhanmu.

satu hal yang perlu kau tau

kau tak berhak mendosakan aku dan perempuanku

atas ketelanjangan kami

tuhan kita berbeda

hargai itu karna kita sama.

September 17, 2008

An Ode to Sally of Scorpion Orchid

Three men of diverse color with nothing on

Staring at a woman laying on

A chamber of dirt stark unadorned.

The night is still young on

That day they were together on

A rare occasion of treacherous open season.

What is this? Asked the men

Innocently eying her colorful beautiful face.

Race. Asnwered the woman.

May we touch it? Naively inquired the men.

No. It’s sensitive

Answered the woman warily.

There will be a holocaust.

What is this? Asked the men

Thoughtlessly gazing her bouncy breasts.

Religion. Answered the woman.

May we caress them? Unpretentiously inquired the men.

No. It’s sensitive.

Answered the woman guardedly.

There will be a crusade.

What is this? Asked the men

Curiously fixing their eyes further down her body.

Vagina. Responded the woman coyly.

May we penetrate it? Asked the men lustily.

It’s sensitive but go on. It is meant to unite you and me.

Us! Mankind and Nature.

The Tiger, Dragon, Peacock and Mother Earth.

It is consensual.

September 13, 2008

Rule of the Ghosts

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Who’s that?

Ghosts to abduct dissenters.

What did I do?

Challenging our Power.

What did my husband do?

Challenging our Power.

What did my Dad do?

Challenging our Power.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

What are you doing?

Knocking your computer.

Why ?

For Challenging our Power.

What are you doing?

Confiscating your paper.

Why?

For Challenging our Power.

What are you doing?

Cuffing you dissenters.

Why?

For Challenging our Power.

Knock. Knock.Knock.

Mama, where are they going to take Daddy?

To Heart of Darkness, dear.

Mama, will I see him again?

Not until the ghosts fade away.

Knock. Knock. Knock.