You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December, 2008.
my first chance to internet since last nite and i just read this in the star on line.
i think someone has to tell these people that what is happening in gaza now is not a war between muslims against the jews. it means, these jihadist wannabes have no business in gaza.
this war, my dear syahid wannabes, is about a nation called israel attacks another nation called palestina. all right all right i change my sentence. they are assaulting each other’s ass. but the former is more powerful and more equipped than the latter. most importantly, the former gets the blessing from the strongest nation on earth to continue to pound the crippled latter. worse, the united nations has not able yet to persuade the war lords of both warring parties, namely israel and hamas, to stop rimming each other’s ass with rockets despite the pain it causes. it’s too bad that innocents civilians living within the reach of the rockets are homicidally affected. worse still, these war lords are also busy accusing each other on who starts to arouse who first while the blood of the civilians keep spilling.
if you, houri-longing-combatants, come to gaza to help these scarred bombardized people. here is my valediction. go with god blessing my child. may god reward your humanitarian deed. if you lose your life amidst your holy mission may heaven welcomes you and seven houris will entertain you ever after. but if you go there to defeat the infidel israelis you’d better stay home and learn more about what this hostility is about. your presence will only worsen the matter.
i know something unfair is taking place there. i am aware that something fishy is happening there. yet, my child this is not your holy war.
and for those who promote war on terror or fundamentalism (everybody knows who is the biggest proponent for this movement) , this phenomena should be a warning for you. unfairness will beget hardliners. they won’t give a heck about your preach on terrorism while you are condoning the act of terrorism itself. what they know is their brothers and sisters in faith (i think they never know the palestinian edward said was a christian) are being threatened by the ‘infidels’ whom you dearly support. these kind of people mean their every word you know. they said they will go to afghanistan we saw them fighting in afghanistan. they declared they will fight the infidels in ambon we watched them play god there. so, someone please stop this nonsense in gaza now. otherwise we will be seeing these newly ‘aroused’ war lords add some more madness to the already maddening situation there. thank you.
haven’t written anything serious lately. it seems that everyone is in the holiday mood and so i am. we just had christmas. and tomorrow muslims will celebrate hijriyyah new year.
but, i reckon those in gaza strip do not enjoy the festivity mood at all. how could they throw a party if their homes are horribly bombarded by the israeli combatants. yeah the whole world but the us of a condemns this brutal act. the us of a authority thru its mouthpiece cnn told the whole world that israel attacked gaza in defence of their own people. it is because hamas attacked “the innocent israelis first” but they did not want to see more violence. sigh, so lame.
no body has any right to inflict pain to other people, that’s what i believe. if the israeli soldiers want to hunt down hamas go hunt them but leave civilians alone. i give no heck since both israeli soldiers and hamas combatants determin to kill each other. but again, leave civilians alone.
but look what is happening now? they are exterminating defenseless civilians in gaza. that’s is the real crime against humanity.
to be honest i don’t sympathize any warring party whether it is the israel or hamas. both of them are blood thirsty war lords. excuse moi you may disagree with me.
don’t you tell me that i am not a good muslim because i don’t side hamas. the eternal war happening in that region is never about religion. you are stupid if you believe so. no true religion will encourage its believers to rage wars. the conflict between israel and palestina is merely the problem of land and therefore nation and the war lords’ egoism.
ya ya ya i don’t have to give a long lecture on how the jews were expelled from their land long long time ago and become the world’s first and largest diaspora until today. now these diaspora want to go back to their homeland and oh-too-bad- expelled those who inhabited that land to the sea.
how could u do that? why can’t you live side by side in harmony? why do u want exterminate the entire nation for the existence of your own? i just can’t digest it.
but what is happening now in gaza must stop.
this is my new new year wish: o lord i wish all living war lords meet their death next year amen.
yeah i am broken and totally broke right now yet an sms from my sister number two has just saved the day. that belated sms brought good news that my sister number four is the top student in her class. now i am the happiest sister on earth. why? because that kid sister number four of mine has continued my legacy of hard-to-battle-top-student (snobbish grin he he he he).
i think i need to add a new item in my new year wish list. that sis number four will be graduating from senior high school next year. and she really wants to become a doctor. nah, i truly wish that kid sister will get what she wants next year.
my youngest bro who is still attending primary school just survived his fourth year. i thank god he does not have to repeat that term. it’s soooooooooo difficult to make him study especially when sponge bob square pants is on tv. and that nine-year-old lad has such a high diplomatic skill in persuading us to let him watch that program first before he starts doing his homework. to my horror, he always succeeds in doing so. ya ya ya ya everybody knows how pampered the youngest child is. and we also love to pamper that youngest member of our family as well.
but nevermind let him have his time. he is still a kid anyway and i believe he will do his best in the field he loves. congrats to you all my beloved siblings
well folks, four days to go and it will be a completely new year.
to me, 2008 is such a wonderful year. i completed my master degree in august and i just landed in a job of my (mother’s) dream by the end of november. i dumped a guy in june and fell in love with another guy in july. most exciting of all, i started my research on blogging in may and launched my own blog somewhere in September.
to my country, 2008 is a bloody wonderful year as well. the bali bombers were executed just after lebaran. sby, the president raised the fuel price in june and reduced the price in november. many scandals involving lewd politicians were unwrapped including the arrest of the president’s in law for corruption and gratification. this year also witnessed the enactment of several laws by our parliament including the highly controversial porn law. it is bitterly wonderful it is not? porn bill which is so chauvinist and sexist exists in a country blessed with myriads cultures and beliefs. it is ironically wonderful isn’t it? in this beautiful and big country of mine where most of its people are poor, the parliement just enacted a law which changes the status of public tertiary educational institutions into profit base institutions. in other words, only those whose parents are millionaires can afford to experience the exciting life of attending higher education. what about the rest? right after they finish their senior high school simply send them to malaysia or singapore or hongkong or taiwan or korea or middle east countries to do menial jobs the citizens of those countries refuse to do. then, when the energy and sanity of those young migrant workers have been sucked dry by the tyranny of time and job contract, they will go home and “selamat datang pahlawan devisa” banner will welcome them in Sukarno-Hatta airport. and for the girls, simply sell them to the supreme multinational pimps with the highest bid. it is simple, no?
Well, i do hope 2009 will be a better year for me and all. for us indonesians, we are anticipating our fiesta of democracy, the general election. there will be new president whom I do hope can lead us to the bright end of the tunnel. there will be new law makers taking office in senayan. i do hope, this time my people won’t vote holier-than-thou morons to promulgate laws for the nation.
to me personally, 2009 will definitely be a challenging year. i just wish i can go thru it smoothly.
so folks, now i am back in KL.
well i don’t need to tell you how I begged them to let me go. It involved gory details which any boss on earth doesn’t want other employees to know them……(cheeky smile).
forget the jetlag (huh, it only takes 1 hour and ten minutes from padang to kl)…
i miss nasi lemak, i miss teh tarik, i miss kailan goreng ikan masin at romzee, but still i hate cabs here. they are ugly (in my country we have toyota vios for taxis u know) and the cab drivers are leeches, no, sharks, no, crocodiles, no…in short they horribly terrible. I was only away for less than a month and they dared to raise the taxi fare. three weeks ago, the taxi fare from UKM station to Hentian Kajang was RM.6.00 but just now that bloodsucker pak cik charged me RM. 7.00. If it was not because I carried so many things I would never ever use any taxi service in this country.
but, it’s good to be back despite i start to miss my mom’s balado. it’s good to be back in my working room at ukm. it’s good to have free and easy access to internet again (this is what i miss so badly when i am home).
yup, i feel good (until my prof start to call me to her room……)
Been running around Kuala Lumpur-Jakarta-Padang-Bukittingi-Padang-Kuala Lumpur-Jakarta-Padang for the past three weeks. Finally I know how it feels to live on a jet plane. It was so tiring. Now I hate flying so much. Yup, with the chronically rhinitis I suffer, the docs advise me not to fly too often. It was so painful when the plane was about to take off and land. The dizzying sound of the aircraft’s machine was so deafening. I heard the sound of millions crazy bees. My olfactory organ refused to let the air to pass. It was difficult to breath. The cold percolating from the plane’s air-con was killing my sinuses. I was feverishly shivering. In short, it was not comfortable at all. But, with the big B here, I have to fly home to settle things and I have to do it by myself.
So folks, for the past three weeks I have transformed into a semi-backpacker. I spent a week in my second sister’s rumah kos (a kind of boarding house) in Jakarta when I had to settle stuffs in Dikti (I failed to settle them which means I have to fly back to Jakarta of which traffic jam I despise so much). I spent another week in my third sister’s rumah kos to settle some convoluted stuffs in State University of Padang. Furthermore, I have to go home to Bukittinggi to entertain my Mom’s nagging: where are you you have been in Padang why doncha spare your time to go home, stat! Worse to come, I have to go back to KL ASAP!!!! I owe my professor a report and a thesis correction. I hope she does not lose hope for her most trouble supervisee.
And… my hectic month has not end yet.
I booked my ticket to fly to KL on Wednesday and planned to go home to Bukittinggi today. So I have one day to spend with my family. But…two hours ago an official from my uni in Padang called to inform me that I need to attend a meeting tomorrow. I have to be there, that’s the punch line. It seems they will give me some assignments.
I can’t go home. It’s likely I can’t go back to KL either. I am trapped here in Padang. I also have to fly to Jakarta this coming week to collect a letter. wuiiih…….I feel like I am gonna die
‘Hullo Sir, first time visiting this place? This restaurant serves the best seafood in town. No. I lied to you. Truly sorry Sir. It is not the best in town but in this whole gastronomical world. No restaurant can’t beat the superior taste of its boiled oyster. Simply Superb with the capital S, I assure you Sir. How can I be so sure? Is that your question? Ha ha. Oh, let me introduce my self. I am…’
‘I have frequented this restaurant for the past six years. Such a loyal costumer. Infidelity in terms of good taste never registers itself in my dictionary. I know the owner of this heaven on earth. He is a nice old cheeky uncle. I call him Uncle E. Such an extraordinary chef I am telling you. He always boasts to me that for generations his family has served every modern dictator ever lives in the history of our war-ridden planet. A father of his grand father commanded the kitchen of Hitler the Il Fuhrer. The distant cousin of his grand mother twice removed was part of the small entourage running the civilization inside of the uncivilized bunker of Saddam Hussein. Meanwhile, Uncle E’s father’s kid brother has to make sure Kim Jong Ill, yes that North Korean strong man eat regularly to keep him alive and potent. Everybody knows there is no apparent heir yet for this dictator of many wives. Serving dictators tells a lot why the word perfect is the constant adjective and verb ricocheting in the atmosphere of his kitchen. Dictators are more arrogant than God is. They crazily (yeah most of them are harebrained) demand perfection. Wholeness. They never tolerate even a single tiny mistake. No cracks in their book. With the blood of the dictator’s chef run in his vein, Uncle E dictator-ly makes sure this restaurant serves nothing but the most perfect piece of their masterpiece.’
‘Oh God I keep you standing listening to my bubbling. Come. Come. Have a seat. Let me help you to the table with the best view in this restaurant. Yeah that corner. That is my favorite table. Uncle E always reserves that table for me. No, no, no. I don’t mind sharing it with you. Do you want to know why I love this table? Mm.. your frown sends the signal of curiosity. Such a nice Mister you are. You remind me of….’
‘Don’t you see it Mister? From this table we can see the sea in its fullest beauty. Beauteous sea which is second to none. Feel Mister, feel the breeze blowing from this abode of mermaids, the embodiment of the mysteriously luring loveliness. Smell Mister, smell the scent of salt marinating the big water there. Hark! I hear a sound. Listen. Listen to these albatrosses. Such a captivating sound they produce, no? See yonder. Look at that ancient mariner commanding the Cargo containing fancy stuffs from the decaying Mythical Land of Spices and Peacocks ruled by the Mighty Ozymandiaz. Handsomely magnificent both the captain and the ship, don’t you think so? Such a wonderful view, isn’t it Mister? On top of that, I love this table because I met him for the first time here.’
‘Hey Mister look at you. Your face seems to be so familiar. You look like someone I know. It’s like: do I know you? Are you from this city? No? So, you are from the City of the Border. Wow, I can’t believe it. What a coincidence. He is from the same city as you are. Ah, you smile now. Ha ha, such a bewitching smile just like his. I fancy you know him. You guys look a like. I see the glimpse of his face in yours. Are you family? Related by blood? God gracious, what a twist of fate. He is your son.’
‘Tell him Mister. Tell him I am looking for him. No. I don’t have to look for him. He knows I am right here waiting. He knows how to get here. Here, I met him for the first time.’
‘What? Are you, Mister from the City of the Border, asking why I suddenly burst into tears? It’s your son whom I’m crying over Sir. It’s been six years I’ve been waiting for him here. Right in this table, the spot on earth the first time I saw him smile. A beam as enchanting as the strongest spell ever casted to melt the heart of a woman who thinks she never needs a man. She fell in love….love at the first sight the doctors sentenced her with this illness of no cure.’
‘Yes. She had no hope for recovering. It is all her fault. She let the viruses to spread and breed in her emotional system. She should have sought treatment at the very first time she contacted the disease. She should have known that this virus was too strong to resist. But she was such an arrogant as yet foolish girl. She chose to court danger. She kept coming to the zone where she was smitten with this young loner fellow, your son-the source carrier transmitter of the viruses. Now it is too late. That illness called love has taken over her body and soul.’
‘This illness has such a monstrous effect to the heart of the afflicted. Little did she know that love is a viral demon with two faces. Both facets are equally dangerous. If love is reciprocated, the heart will swell with happiness. Still swollen heart is not a good thing to have, no? It can burst. If it happens to be a one-sided love, you will get a broken heart. It hurts beyond imagining.’
‘How is she now? Oh, blessed Mister you are asking how she is now? She used to have a swollen heart. Now, she lives with her heart broken. Like I said, no remedy for this malady. No scientist can mend a broken heart. The only thing the doctors can do to ease the suffering of the love-struck patient is to sedate her with this new brand of heroin. Yes, love itself. When she begins crying longing for the man she loves, the doctors anesthetize her with hope. Hoping that that man, your son, will come to say at least hi how are you are you doing fine dear. This hope suffices to create a happy smile on her face. It is enough to recalibrate her weary soul to continue to live. But….’
‘Doing drugs Sir, its nature is so bizarre. The more you take it the more you become sick. And it is the same as hoping Sir. The more she hopes the more she is hurt. Because the man she loves, your sunny Sir, never turns out. Absorbed in the banality of the world.’
‘However, keeping hope she badly needs it good Sir. She needs higher dose of hope each day to keep her head above the water. It is so painful and pitiful. Sometimes, the doctors have no heart to inject her with her sedation. They want her to live without it. They think she will be happier without it. But her emotional system refuses to beat without that hope. She will die before her time. Nobody wants her to die before getting what she wants.’
‘So, everyday she lives off hope. It energizes her exhausted spirit with the power enabling her to smile while her heart aching; to laugh while sobbing; to change the world while swallowing her own despair.’
‘No Sir please. Don’t feel bad about it. I am not sad at all. I am happy Sir. Look at my smile Sir. Observe my eyes good Mister. Do you see sadness? These tears are drops of joy. I finally meet someone who knows him. How is he Sir? How does he look like now? Does he eat regularly? How’s his job? Is he happy? Tell me Sir….’
‘I love it when he took me to the art gallery, a completely new world for me. It was a sweet Sunday. The gallery was so empty. There were only the two of us. He told me that the rest of the world must be in malls or shopping centers now engulfed by the poisonous up to 70% discount offered by the merchants. He hates crowds. I love crowds. We spent the entire afternoon there. We had ice cream. He took me home. I asked: do you love me? He answered: I do love you. I love him.’
‘I still remember when he took me to the museum. It was Sunday as well. At the museum, a throng of children greeted us cheekily asking about many things displayed there, which they could not understand. I love children. He hates children. I patiently entertained those kids. He chose to get rid of them. Yet, from a far, I know, he kept his eyes on me. It was so sweet and I was so happy but….’
‘Your son Sir began to disappear from my life at the point I cannot live without him. Countless unanswered calls; thousands un-replied sms-es; numerous un-responded e-mails. He just went away. Vanishing into the anomaly of unfulfilled hope. I never know what makes him run away from me. I never have any chance to ask. Things went bad when I miss him for I could never reach him. Then, I began to develop my addiction to hoping.’
‘In the search of my love; in an attempt to release myself from this addiction, I started to frequent the museums or the art galleries we used to go together. I went there in the hope to find him there. So far, I see not a glimpse of him. I began to seek for a face in the crowd. I develop a habit to observe who is in and out of the subway. Who knows he will be there commuting in the same train as I do. In the restaurant, before I take my seat I study the patrons eating their lunch there. Who knows he has his meal there. I always allocate my time to go to bookstores. He loves books and I love books as well. It is likely he will be there. But I never run into him.’
‘Good Sir, it’s been ages I don’t see your son. I don’t need to tell you how badly I miss him. Tell him Sir. Tell him I want to see him. Please tell him I am hurt but I can never hate him. Please Sir relate to him that he doesn’t have to love me the way I do love him. Please ask him to come to this restaurant and say hi hello how’s life with you dear. It shall be enough to make my day. I will be right here waiting. It’s truly shall be enough for me. I won’t hope for more.’
‘Nah, my time is up. I have to go. Tomorrow I will come again. Hope to see you again good Sir.’
‘Good evening Sir. Welcome to my restaurant. We serve the best seafood in town. My name is Uncle E and I am of the generation of the dictators’ chef. Yes, you are right I am the owner of this restaurant.’
‘That girl? Which girl? Oh, my good Sir, it must be her. I know that girl. She was, no, is my loyal customer. She is hospitalized right now, drowned in a deep comma. How can you are talking to a girl which is in a deep comma? Is that your question Sir? It was not her. It was her soul. You just conversed with a soul of a broken hearted.’
‘Such a sweet lass. Such a melancholic type. Poor cheerful girl. She was hit by a car right in front of my restaurant. What a careless young soul. She was after the man she loves when that dreaded car sent her into that bitter comma. For six years Sir. Six straight years she always came to my restaurant and sit in this table waiting for that lad to come. Now it is her love searching soul, which keeps lingering in the very place she met the man she loves for the first time. I am partly responsible for this sad melodrama. I introduced him to her. Never had I known she would fall for him this deep.’
‘That evening she came and launched her usual sweet greeting. “Evening my one and only Uncle E. How’s my dictator today?” I was about to say my usual “evening my sweet D” when she darted out of my restaurant to greet the glimpse of the man she yearns for. It was not even him I am telling you Sir. It was only a glimpse of him. These eyes, Sir. Before these eyes, her body flew to the thin air. I saw her soul departed her body. That loving soul stays here waiting for her love. But these hands, Sir. With these hands I carried her blood soaked body to the hospital. The body stays there refusing to expire. Not to die down before she meets the man she loves for the last time. The soul and the body work hand in hand to keep the hope glow. I never know such a power love may have.’
‘Sir, I always reserve that table for her. I do that to ease my guilt. Like I said, I am partly responsible for this telenovela.’
‘This evening she has chosen to greet you. I bet, no, I swear upon the holy blood of the dictators’ chef running in my vein you must have a son for the second child. See, I am right, am I not? Well, I saw you nodding your head. That man she loves is the second child of his family. She will only greet a man or a woman who has a son for the second child; a man and a woman whose number two sibling is a brother; a man and a woman whose second grandchild is a grandson. Never know how she noses them out.’
‘Good Sir, if you happen to be the father or the man she loves, please tell your son to come here, to my restaurant. A restaurant by the sea where she met a girl with a cheerful aura six years ago. Tell him, she does not want his love. She just wants to see him and listen to his “hi hello how’s life with you dear” before she leaves for good.’
‘Now Sir, may I take your order now? It’s on the house and I personally will serve you tonight. That’s the only thing I can do to make my sweet D happy.’
sigh…i am badly hurt. broken. suicidally betrayed. bitter. on my way to homicidal desperation.
people please tell me how i can mend this broken heart?
a man has let me down.
yup, the very man i voted to lead me four years ago. yes, that very man i used to trust to lead me and my people out of this mess.
that man just signed that dreaded porn bill. that man just legally slaughtered pluralism which is the very essence of this nation.
i am at a loss of words to express my grievance. i am too weak to spit my rage. my spring of tears has almost dried out.
man, why do you have to always hurt me?
